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Love vs. Infatuation Greta Bailey, THRIVE Educator Not even 24 hours after February 14th, stores will rapidly throw away their sparkly heart-shaped decorations, take down their romantic flower displays, and try to get rid of their chocolate boxes as fast as they can. Valentine’s Day will be a thing of the past, and any signs or sales reminiscent of the holiday will be completely outdated. In the blink of an eye, all the hype will disappear until next February, where it will materialize for yet another brief lifespan… For readers who do not know, Life’s Choices is a proud supporter/benefactor of THRIVE, a healthy relationship education program. THRIVE is dedicated to teaching middle/high school students how to build healthy relationships and avoid risky and harmful behaviors. I have been working with the THRIVE team as an educator for over 2 years. During that time, I have seen hundreds of students and have been able to have some great discussions with them about relationships and future goals, and how to make healthy decisions. Thinking about the wildly intense-yet-temporary holiday that we know as Valentine’s Day, I am reminded of a lesson that I have had the joy of teaching with the THRIVE program: a simple lesson we call, “Love vs. Infatuation.” Simple in nature, yet complex and valuable in application, this lesson is a favorite of mine to teach. Typically done in a middle school setting, “Love vs. Infatuation” goes a bit like this: I will ask the class, “What does the word ‘infatuation’ mean?” Some hands pop up. I might get a few answers like, “being obsessed” or “REALLY liking somebody.” Then I ask the same thing about the word “love.” Here, the class will pause. What does love mean? Answers usually come slower… “Does it mean to really care about someone?” “Maybe to think about someone a lot and want the best for them?” I always help them out by giving them actual definitions after this little brainstorming exercise. Infatuation: extreme passion, without much thought, often leading to foolish behavior. Love: tender and deep affection for someone. (thank you, Dictionary.com) “In other words,” I tell the class, “infatuation is like getting a HUGE crush on someone…can anyone relate to that?” *giggles all around the room* I respond, “Oftentimes a crush can come and go pretty quickly, and we can act pretty silly when we’re infatuated with someone. Love, however, means really knowing someone, committing yourself to them, and having a connection that lasts.” We then use these definitions as a springboard for the main activity of the class. Here, we will hand out laminated cards with descriptors written on them to each student. It is now the class’s task to figure out whether a card will go into the “Love” or “Infatuation” card pile. Simple, right? The reason that this is one of my favorite lessons to share with a class is that it gives us a chance to really get talking. A student will come to the front with her card. It has “Strong Friendship” written on it. With the help of her classmates, she places it in the “Love” pile. I ask her why she chose to put it there, and she responds that love means getting to know someone and connecting with them. Perfect! Next student’s card: “Based on Physical Attraction.” This one is placed in the “Infatuation” pile. To which I’ll agree. “Physical attraction is important in a loving, romantic relationship. But basing your entire interaction with someone on their physical attractiveness is not a strong foundation that will last.” We go on until all the cards have been placed. If a student struggles with one or gets one wrong, we talk about it a bit more, always showing understanding. By the end, the class seems confident that they can tell the difference between the two concepts. And here is the final question: why do you think it would be important to know the difference between love and infatuation? Now, hands shoot up all over the room. And I hear answers like: “Because infatuation doesn’t always last.”     “Love is a choice; infatuation is all about feelings.” “Love is more selfless.”     “Relationships need love, not just infatuation.” Music to my ears! Because so often I see young people acting on just infatuation, hopping from one crush to another. Wearing themselves out emotionally because their connections are intense-yet-temporary. In a day or two, something that seemed so big to them is simply gone. But I leave this class feeling hopeful. These students at least know what to look for now. They can enter back into their world knowing that infatuation is fun, but love is the goal. Perhaps this is something that adults need to be reminded of as well. It can be so easy to settle for the fast, rush of positive emotions that comes with infatuation. We enjoy the ease of it. Then, sadly, when the infatuation stage wears thin, we are ready to move on. And just like the store shelves, we are left feeling empty again. This cycle does more harm than good. If we want healthy and lasting relationships, we have to remember that love takes effort, but it is so much more rewarding and fulfilling than infatuation. As February winds down, and the infatuation with Valentine’s Day dwindles away, remember that love is a decision. We choose to love. Even when we don’t necessarily feel like it. Even when it isn’t the most fun thing. Love lasts. It takes root slowly and is strengthened by time. Love can weather a storm and come out stronger than ever. Don’t chase infatuation. Choose love. #blog #classes

In the gray days of winter, when the ground is frozen and the sun likes to hide, we stay hopeful because we know that spring is on its way. The anticipation of feeling sunlight on our skin and hearing the sound of birds in the trees gives us the motivation we need to make it through winter’s last weeks. As we anticipate the coming of springtime and sunshine, Life’s Choices is also looking forward to some exciting things this year! Here is what is in store for us in 2023! 1. Group Classes Life’s Choices offers a large number of classes for individuals and couples, but this year we will be organizing different classes for bigger groups of people. While taking a class individually is incredibly helpful, we have found that group classes help to create a sense of community and belonging for our participants. In 2022, we offered a class for young/new fathers to help train them in child safety. The “Dr. Dad” sessions were held at the Journey Cafe community center in Hamburg and were taught by experienced fathers from local churches. We had a great turn-out and we received wonderful feedback from those who took the course. This got our wheels turning and we are currently working on similar courses to offer in the summer of 2023! Keep an eye out for updates and information about these exciting group classes! 2. New Hamburg Location(!) While we absolutely love our Hamburg office, we are quickly outgrowing the space! With our recent new hirings and an influx of client appointments, we have come to the conclusion that we will need a new space very soon! Life’s Choices management is currently on the hunt for potential buildings that could become our new and larger Hamburg center. This process is a reminder of the bittersweetness of growth; we are ecstatic for how Life’s Choices is expanding, but moving our office will definitely not be easy. Please cover this process in prayers as there are many decisions to make and variables to consider. 3. Welcoming and Equipping our New Employees Within the last few months, the Life’s Choices team has gained some new members! We are so excited to work with them this year. Each of our new hires are bringing new skill-sets and new vision to this ministry. We are SO looking forward to how they will help make Life’s Choices even stronger. Our new Nurse Manager, Sonya, tells us what she is looking forward to this year as she settles into her position: “Since I am new to Life’s Choices, I am looking forward to getting more acquainted and established in my role as nurse manager. And I am also looking forward to completing my STD training as well as beginning an ultrasound training. This training will enable me to be a back-up for our current ultrasound tech after I complete my 50-75 hours of supervised ultrasounds. This was something I had considered doing for another center a couple years ago, but the timing wasn’t right. Now it seems to be, and I am excited and looking forward to completing this training in 2023!” Her enthusiasm and her desire for preparedness is something that we have seen in all of our new employees, which is both refreshing and motivating! 4. Life’s Choices Fundraising Events! It is no surprise that we are looking forward to our big events in 2023. Each year, our Spring Chicken 5k, our Baby Bottle Fundraiser, and our Life’s Choices Banquet become even more fun and impactful than the last year. Our team is already in full preparation-mode for these events, thinking up new ways to improve and revitalize them! Since Life’s Choices is 100% non-profit, we are completely funded by the donations of generous individuals and organizations. These larger events help collect the lion’s share of our donations, as well as give us the opportunity to recognize and thank those who give to our ministry. If you are also excited for these events, make sure you stay connected with our social media so that you can get all of the updates and information you need! 5. Continued Training for our Staff Katie Bailey, our Director of Client Services at our Kutztown office, is looking forward to a group trip coming up in 2023. She and some of our other staff will be taking a trip to Nebraska for training that is specifically designed for those who run/operate pregnancy centers. This course will help our staff to become more prepared to professionally and compassionately interact with clients who are facing a crisis pregnancy. Our staff takes pride in staying up-to-date with the latest facts and resources available, so that we can serve our clients in the best way possible. Our education staff will also be working hard to strengthen their knowledge and delivery of the helpful classes we teach. As statistics change and new research is released, we are constantly making sure that our information is trustworthy, and our lessons are relevant. These are just a few of the many things that God has in store for this ministry in 2023! We are faithful that He will direct our steps and provide for us as we go forward this year. There is no doubt that 2023 will have struggles as well as blessings, but we hold this verse in our hearts as we gaze into the future of Life’s Choices: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” – Isaiah 26:3

Blessings in Baby Bottles Each year, on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, Life’s Choices partners with a collection of local churches for our annual Baby Bottle Fundraiser. Sanctity of Human Life Sunday was this Sunday, January 22nd, so the fundraiser is now in full-swing! We sent out hundreds of empty baby bottles, ready to be filled with donations to help support our ministry. If your church is partnering with Life’s Choices and you have decided to fill a baby bottle, here are 10 ways to make the most out of this fundraiser! 1. Have you children fill their bottles! Offer to match the amount your kids contribute! 2. Put a bottle at your workplace for others to participate along with you. This could be a great way to tell your co-workers about what we do! Word-of-Mouth is one of the best ways to promote Life’s Choices. 3. Declutter. Get an early start on your spring cleaning. Find some things in your home to sell and add your earnings to your bottle. 4. Make a sacrifice. Could you skip the coffee line for a month? Eat frozen pizza at home instead of ordering out? Is there something you could sacrifice during the fundraiser? 5. Collect loose change! Make it fun! See who can find the most change around the house! Every little bit helps! 6. Have a little friendly competition! Compete with another family in your church! Whoever wins hosts a game night at their house! 7. Share it on your social media! You can show your progress and encourage your friends/followers to donate as well. 8. Get your church connected with Life’s Choices! If your church fellowship is not already participating in our Baby Bottle Fundraiser, contact our offices to learn how you can connect us to your congregation! Many churches also host this fundraiser in May, so no worries if you missed this one! 9. Clean out your car! Let’s be real. How many loose coins are hiding in your cup-holders or under your floor mats? 10. Pray for the Life’s Choices clients who will be blessed by your contribution. Even after you return your bottle, you can keep our clients and staff in your prayers! There are many other ways to make this fundraiser interesting and memorable! Let us know how you and your family decided to fill your baby bottle! On a serious note, we genuinely could not be able to run as we do without your generosity. Due to donations from individuals, families, churches, and organizations, we can offer free services to those who need it. We will never get tired of saying this – if you have supported Life’s Choices in the past, if you currently support us, or if you plan to do so in the future, THANK YOU! #hamburgpennsylvania #berkscounty #fun #prenatalclasses #kutztown

It’s no secret that the most wonderful time of the year can turn even the jolliest of us into the Grinch. While Christmas should be a joyful celebration (a Savior has been born who is Christ the Lord!), all the preparation and traditions can sneakily shift our eyes away from the true meaning of Christmas, leaving our homes filled with unwelcome tension and stress. Want to be smiling when you sing the famous lyrics, “There’s no place like home for the holidays?” Here are five ways to help you and your family avoid holiday stress and to stay merry and bright this Christmas! 1. REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON I know… it’s a cliché answer, but it’s worthy of mention. Nothing is better than Jesus, but if you’re like us, the many things on our to-do lists can quickly take center stage. Here are three questions to help you keep Jesus as the center of your celebrations: What is the theme of my Christmas celebrations? What is the purpose of our celebrations? What needs to be done to fulfill this purpose? For example: – Our theme is Jesus. All things point to Him. – The purpose is to remember the prophecy of the Messiah fulfilled, to teach our children the importance of celebrating this great historical event and to spend time recalling God’s faithfulness to keeping His promises. – We intend to fulfill this purpose by gifting as a way of celebrating the gift of Jesus, feasting in celebration of the Messiah, doing a daily advent devotional or read Scriptures pertaining to Jesus’ birth, and filling our home with songs of worship and praise. Your family may answer differently, but whatever you answer, these questions will help you keep your to-do’s from taking over! 2. EAT WELL, SLEEP WELL, EXERCISE It’s no secret that the average American gains weight over the holidays, but the whole truth is that all those cookies and treats are also no good for stress! Instead, fill your plate with fermented foods, foods high in vitamin C, and foods that can reduce cortisol levels such as grapefruits, bananas, and yes, even dark chocolate! The American Psychiatric Association reports that sleep is so crucial that even slight sleep deprivation or poor sleep can affect memory, judgment, and mood. Don’t let that to-do list keep you up at night! Getting the right amount of sleep, seven to nine hours a night, will help you be efficient in those waking hours. Exercise. Even a 20-minute brisk walk each day can have a significant impact on your stress levels and curb anxiety! Take the time to fit it in, and if you can’t, know that even 10 minutes of intentional movement can start to reduce anxiety symptoms. 3. BUDGET It’s been said many times, many ways, that money is a leading cause of marital troubles. So, it’s no surprise that it can also be a great source of tension during the gift-giving season! Take some time to write your list of extra expenses and review them with your spouse. Pray about your spending. Decide together what purchases you’ll make. Don’t forget to include the extra foods, party supplies, and dining out expenses in your budget plans. 4. DON’T BE A SLAVE TO TRADITIONS While we love traditions — looking at lights, building gingerbread houses, baking dozens and dozens of cookies from scratch, and so much more — they can be exhausting. If you’re feeling great and can do it all again this year, do it! But if your holiday cheer is being depleted by the expectations of each year, go back to my first tip, and choose a few that fit your theme and purpose! 5. EXPECT A LITTLE STRESS It’s a busier time of the year. Celebrations don’t come without a little extra grit. The first Christmas wasn’t even stress-free. I mean, would you want to ride on a donkey several months pregnant? If you’re experiencing a little stress, you’re not alone. Don’t allow self-care culture to make you feel guilty about putting some hard work in to your home and family and even celebrating Jesus! This season does require a little planning, work, and fun! Instead of focusing on ridding yourself of all the stress, take some deep breaths and decide to enjoy it! Think of the stress Mary faced as she carried Jesus — unwed, young, with many unplanned (by her) circumstances. And yet, Luke 2:19 tells us that Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. While the holidays are busy and can add tension to our homes, we encourage you to treasure up the happenings of Jesus’ birth in your heart this season. At Life’s Choices, our prayer for you is this: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13 And may your Christmas days be merry & bright! Contact Us #christmasstress #familypeace #familyrelationships #harmonyathome #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztown #holidaystress

GUEST BLOG: Align Pregnancy Center When a close friend tells you they have accidentally become pregnant, you may want to offer them support, but you may not know exactly what that support should entail. After all, learning that you’re pregnant can be extremely overwhelming; what can you say to comfort someone in that situation? Ultimately, the most important thing you can do is just be their friend. However, knowing what else you can do to support them through this time can make all of the difference. Here are a few ways to support your friend who is facing an unplanned pregnancy. KNOW WHAT TO SAY Your friend likely feels a range of intense emotions immediately following their positive pregnancy test. They may feel scared, alone, confused, or even ashamed. As their friend, it is important to be there for them emotionally. Listen to them without judgment, and let them know that you support whatever decision they make about their pregnancy. In addition, avoid giving them unsolicited advice or making assumptions about what they are going through. Here are a few things you can say to your friend: “I’m so sorry to hear that this wasn’t what you were expecting. I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do.” “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now. Can I do anything to help?” “Thank you for telling me this. I know it wasn’t easy for you to share and to trust me with this information.” “Don’t worry — you’re not alone. I’m here for you, and we’ll get through this together with the help of your support system.” KNOW WHAT NOT TO SAY Knowing what not to say is just as important as knowing what to say to your pregnant friend. As their confidante, it is crucial to be mindful of the words you use and how they might affect someone that needs support and compassion. In general, avoid making any statements that could come across as judgmental, dismissive, or hurtful. The way you respond to your friend’s news can either make them feel supported or further isolate them during a difficult time. Here are a few things you should avoid saying to your friend: “You should have been more careful.” “Aren’t you happy?” “I don’t know how you’re going to handle this.” “This is going to be a lot of work for you.” “You’re not the first person this has happened to, you know.” HOW TO BE THERE FOR THEM To provide the best support to your friend, it is crucial to know that you don’t need to be an expert in this situation. You need to be supportive, but you don’t necessarily need to provide solutions. It is your friend’s pregnancy, and they will ultimately make the decisions about what is best for them and their baby. However, you can still be an excellent support system with the following tips: Acknowledge their feelings By simply listening to your friend and validating their feelings, you can help them feel supported. It is okay for them to feel happy, overwhelmed, or even scared about the pregnancy — let them know that it is all normal. Educate yourself To be the best support possible, you must educate yourself on all of the aspects of pregnancy. This way, you can provide your friend with accurate information and help them make informed decisions. Be a reminder It can be easy for your friend to forget about their own needs when they’re focused on their pregnancy. Be a reminder for them to take care of themselves — both physically and emotionally. Help them make doctor’s appointments, get enough rest, and eat healthy foods. OFFER PRACTICAL HELP Think about the question, “what pregnancy help for my friend can I offer?” and brainstorm a list of things you could do to help your friend in this situation. The type of support they need most can vary with each week of pregnancy. A pregnant woman often needs emotional support more than anything else, but practical help is always appreciated, especially if your friend is considering raising the child by themself. The best way to offer valuable service is to simply ask what they need and then follow through. It can be as simple as offering to babysit their other children so they can have a break or picking up groceries for them. If you want to do something more significant, you could offer to help with the cost of baby items like a crib, car seat, or stroller. DON’T JUDGE THEM Judgment can push someone away when they need support the most. If your friend is confiding in you about their unintended pregnancy, it’s important to be there for them without passing judgment. They are already facing enough judgment from themselves and others, and they need your understanding. In this situation, it’s not about you or your opinions, it’s about them and what they are going through. It’s best to realize that your role is to be supportive instead of judgmental. LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS While you may have strong opinions about what your friend should do, it’s important to let them make their own decisions. This is their pregnancy, and they are the one who will need to live with the consequences of whatever decision they make. Offer your support and help them to weigh all of their options, but ultimately let them make the best decision for themselves. It can be easy to want to offer advice or tell them what you would do in their situation, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t about you. Your friend is the one who has to make this decision, and they will do what is best for them. CONNECT THEM WITH A PREGNANCY CENTER Having a better understanding of what your friend is dealing with will help you be a more supportive friend to them. Now that you are aware of the challenges and issues they are facing, you can be there for them in whatever capacity they need. Whether your friend decides to parent, place their child for adoption, or have an abortion, know that you are a valuable support system for them. Your friendship and love will make all the difference during this special time in their life. To provide your pregnant friend with additional resources, you can connect her with a local pregnancy center. Pregnancy centers like Life’s Choices and Align Pregnancy Center offer clients a variety of free services. At Life’s Choices, clients have access to a free confirmation ultrasounds, our Baby Bundle, prenatal and parenting classes, and much more. Contact Life’s Choices today for more information about our completely free and confidential services. Contact Us #helpfulfriend #friendship #unexpectedpregnancy #confirmationultrasound #freepregnancyresources #hamburgpennsylvania #unintendedpregnancy #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #prenatalclasses #supportivefriend #pregnancycenter #kutztown #babybundle #parentingclasses #unplannedpregnancy #pregnancy

According to the CDC, by the age of 25, one in every two Americans will have contracted a STI/STD. The most recent data shows 2.5 million reported cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis alone in 2021. With cases so high in number, you may be wondering if you may be at risk for contracting an STI/STD. The answer is simple: if you are sexually active, yes, you are at risk. So, what exactly are STI/STDs, how can you reduce your chance of contracting one, and where can you get tested? What steps will you need to take should you happen to test positive for an STI/STD? First, let’s clarify the terminology. You may have noticed that there are two different abbreviations being used: STI (“sexually transmitted infection”) and STD (“sexually transmitted disease”). These two abbreviations are often used interchangeably. WHAT IS AN STI? An STI is an infection caused by bacteria, viruses, or parasites that is spread through sexual contact including vaginal, anal, and oral sex. These viruses can also be spread from a mother to her unborn child, especially during childbirth. This is called congenital transmission. There are many different forms of STIs, however, only four are curable; they are: gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, and syphilis. If you do test positive for one of these infections, it is very important to follow the treatment plan completely to prevent reinfection. The treatment will include an anti-infectant that should be taken as directed by your medical provider. Both you and you partner must be treated. You will both need to abstain from all sexual contact until cleared by a medical provider. Please understand how important this step is. It is common for a patient to be reinfected because he/she resumed sexual relations before both partners had been cured. There are also other STIs that have lifelong consequences. Although the symptoms of some of these types of STIs can be controlled with antivirals, there is no cure. The top four uncurable viruses are hepatitis B, Herpes simplex virus (HSV), HIV, and human Papilloma virus (HPV). The curable and incurable STIs mentioned here have the highest infection rates. However, please note that they are not the only STIs. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO PREVENT AN STI? The only way to be 100% risk-free is to refrain from having sex, or to be in a committed, monogamous relationship where both partners are free of infection. Condom use is a way to minimize contracting an STI, but it is not 100% effective. Condom use is not effective against minimizing the spread of HSV and HPV. The virus that causes these two STIs lives on and is transmitted through skin contact. WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF AN STI? It is possible to have an STI without experiencing any symptoms (or at least not right away). Viral infections can lay dormant for years and not everyone will show external signs of infection from gonorrhea and chlamydia. This is a large reason why these infections are so frequently unknowingly spread and one of the most important reasons to be tested for STIs. However, here are a few of the symptoms to look for: The curable STIs can potentially cause malodorous and/or discolored discharge from the vagina or male urethra. This discharge can also be seen in the urine and can be accompanied by painful urination. Hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver and can be accompanied by pain directly under right rib cage; sometimes, a yellowing of the skin and sclera (the white part of the eye) known as jaundice can be seen. With HSV, open painful sores can sometimes be present. HPV can cause warts and, in some cases, can be known for causing cervical, mouth, or throat cancer. Again, remember that STIs can remain dormant for years, so just because you haven’t seen any symptoms yet doesn’t mean you have not contracted an STI. IF YOU AREN’T SURE, GET TESTED Before starting a sexual relationship with any partner, both you and the potential partner should be tested for STIs. Protecting your health and wellbeing are very important. If you have any concerns or questions about STIs, please contact Life’s Choices. We provide free tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia along with treatment if you should test positive. In addition, we offer free sexual health education and information. All of our services are provided in a safe and respectful environment. All of our services, including STD/STI testing and treatment, are free and confidential at Life’s Choices. Life Choice’s is here to empower you to make healthy relationship choices through free resources, education, and mentorship. You are worth it. You are important. Most of all, you are loved! Contact Life’s Choices today. Contact Us #symptomsofanstd #STItesting #stdtesting #whatisansti #preventanstd #sexualhealth #symptomsofansti #preventansti #hamburgpennsylvania #whatisanstd #kutztownpennsylvania #sexualriskavoidance #berkscounty #healthyrelationships #kutztown

Everyday in our community and around the world, women face unexpected pregnancies. An unplanned pregnancy can initiate many emotions ranging from excitement to fear, which can result in a variety of choices. If you have experienced an unplanned pregnancy and have chosen abortion, we do not place blame or shame on you, but instead we offer post-abortion support and care to any woman who has walked this path and is seeking healing. THE GAP IN ABORTION CLINICS When a woman pursues abortion, she might be given brief information on the types of abortions offered or a quick overview of how the procedure works. However, many women are not truly prepared for what they will experience. In addition, countless women have been brave enough to share their abortion stories, discussing the lack of information or options they received and the toll their abortion took on their physical and mental health. Even though some may feel a sense of immediate relief at the time of termination, many women are traumatized by what they experience physically and mentally, and they are not prepared for the wave of emotions that often follow. Unfortunately, facilities that offer abortion services provide no emotional support or follow-up care once the procedure is completed. The patient is simply ushered out the door, never to be seen again. Typically, women are left alone to deal with the aftermath of their trauma and the roller coaster of emotions they are experiencing. Some women who have experienced abortion may be at risk of depression, anxiety, drug use and suicide. Women don’t deserve to suffer in silence, and they shouldn’t. They deserve restoration and healing. WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO FIND POST-ABORTION SUPPORT There is hope in healing. Many pregnancy centers, including Life’s Choices, offer post-abortion care support groups. These groups are never designed to shame but rather to help women work through their experiences alongside other women who have walked a similar path. Our Abortion Healing Bible Study is designed to empower women — whether their abortion was yesterday or 30 years ago — with the tools they need to heal and no longer suffer in silence as so many women do. If you are suffering in silence, please call Life’s Choices and get connected. There is care also for men, as we know that men too are affected by a decision of abortion. All human beings have feelings and emotions, and all deserve healing. If you or a friend may be suffering from the choice of an abortion, please reach out. We are here to help. God desires that both women and men be set free from hurt and pain. If you’re looking to join Life’s Choices’ Abortion Healing Bible Study or you’re looking for a mentor to speak with about your experience, we encourage you to contact us today. We are here for you, and you’re not alone. Contact Us “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-4 #abortionhealingbiblestudy #pregnancyloss #griefandhealing #abortionregret #postabortioncare #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #postabortionsupport #abortionsupport #abortionhealing #kutztown

By: Sheila, Life’s Choices volunteer October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Pregnancy and infant loss is unfortunately part of many families’ stories. Whether a loss occurred during pregnancy or sometime after birth, he/she was someone’s child, and the pain is very real no matter how tiny the baby. That’s why I felt led to share my story with you. Many mamas and families suffer in silence, but they don’t have to. I share my story to bring comfort to those who have lost a baby and bring understanding and awareness to those who have not. MY FIRST GRANDSON, LOST TOO SOON Yesterday, I realized my grandson would have turned 13 on November 2, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. His name was Zander, and he was perfect in every way — except physically, he wasn’t. He had a blood clotting disorder that had caused him to have a stroke. I will always cherish the moments I had with him, to hold and sing to him even though his spirit was no longer with us. On November 2, 2009, at 2 a.m., I received the worst phone call of my life. It was my daughter, and it was a cry that haunts most obstetric nurses and physicians — one I have heard before and many times after that night. This night, it was different — it was my daughter’s cry. “Mommy, he’s gone.” I had walked this path with other families as a labor and delivery nurse who happened to be on the infant loss bereavement team, but in that moment, the pain was personal. MAKING MEMORIES AND KEEPING THEM CLOSE My daughter and grandson were five hours away from me, and all I wanted to do was get to them as quickly as possible. As I stood in front of my suitcase, I could not even think clearly enough to know what to pack — nothing except a camera. You may think this seems strange, but creating memories for families who have lost an infant is important. Footprints and photos taken are often some of the few physical memories they will have of their baby. After I had packed my camera and my other two children’s bags, we made that very long five hour journey to upstate New York. It was here that Zander would be born into his mother’s arms at 11:26 p.m. He was five pounds, nine ounces and 18 ¾ inches long with a head full of dark curly hair. I can remember looking at him as he was born and saying repeatedly in my head, “Breath. Please just breath.” I wanted so badly for the doctor to be wrong even though I knew she was not. After his birth, we filled the room with family. We loved and supported my daughter and her husband. We held him and made our own memories with Zander. I sang to him, as I have always sung to my babies and was looking so forward to doing the same with my first grandchild. On November 3rd at 12:30 a.m., we were joined by a pastor who baptized Zander. After the baptism, it was time for Zander’s bath. Due to some complications with my daughter, she was not able to get out of bed to bathe Zander, so she allowed me to bathe him for her. Soon after, it was time to say goodbye and travel back to Pennsylvania. SAYING GOODBYE AND HOW TO HELP Later that week, we had funeral services for him. My 10-year-old daughter placed a stuffed bear she had bought for Zander in between his legs. She said she wanted him to have it always. I tucked him into his baby rest and told him, “Until we meet again, sweet baby boy. I will love you forever.” I also assembled a beautiful display of his photographs that were set beside his baby rest at the cemetery. He was laid to rest in the same spot as my grandmother — most cemeteries will allow that. If your loved one has lost an infant and you have received permission from the parents, calling funeral homes to assist with details can be extremely helpful to bereaving parents. For example, some funeral homes will not charge you above what they have purchased the baby rest for. Help parents confirm which funeral homes are empathetic to the loss of a baby and will help support the family with no financial gain. EXPERIENCING GRIEF AND HOW TO HEAL After the funeral, our family had much healing to do. I won’t share my daughter’s post birth story, but I can tell you I was severely depressed for about a year after this. I was able to manage daily activities, but there was no room for anything else. I carried a lot of guilt. As a labor and delivery nurse, it was very hard to know I had helped to save the lives of other babies but was unable to save that of my own grandchild. I am so thankful God had surrounded me with wonderful, amazing, and patient people to help me through — and there is a “through!” My 10-year-old daughter also struggled through this and expressed her grief with anger. In my own grief, I failed to recognize her pain. She desperately needed to talk about her nephew but was afraid to because she didn’t want to upset me. Once I realized, we sat down and talked. We went through Zanders pictures, and I reassured her that she could talk to me about him anytime. Yes, it might make me sad, but that’s ok. That’s normal. It’s very important to remember that siblings and other family members will grieve this kind of loss as well. Children as young as three years old are very aware that there was a new baby on the way, and they know that something is different. It is important to be honest with them using age-appropriate language. Please be very careful not to say things like, “The baby went to sleep,” or “The baby was so good that God wanted him in heaven.” Remember that children take things literally. It is also healing for them to be either present to see their sibling or to see his/her photos, no matter how small baby was. Studies have shown that this helps in the grieving and healing process with children. If a mom or dad are finding they are unable to cope with the needs of their other children’s grief, know that it’s ok. What is most important is that you give them permission to speak with a safe person or a counselor. CARING FOR BEREAVED PARENTS Friends and family, please keep a close watch on the mamas who have lost a child. They are going to grieve and will need some privacy in their grieving, but stay involved and ask questions to make sure there are not considerations for self harm. Stay in tune with the fathers, too. As many men are the protectors in their relationships, they may want to be strong for their wife or partner and therefore may not allow themselves to grieve. Men, as the husband or partner, you need to grieve, too, and mama needs you to grieve with her. In order to heal, allowing yourself to grieve is important. Moms and dads, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are not comfortable with a counselor, try reaching out to local churches; they may have a list of support groups that you can connect with. You don’t have to go through the grief of infant loss by yourself. I would encourage anyone who has walked this journey to please share your story, share your photos, and share your child. Let others know they are not alone and do not have to suffer in silence. You matter, and your baby matters. LIFE’S CHOICES IS HERE FOR YOU If you’ve experienced pregnancy or infant loss and are looking for support, Life’s Choices welcomes you to contact us today to speak to a mentor. We are here to provide you with resources and friendship on your path to healing. And if you have experienced an abortion, whether recently or in your past, we encourage you to ask us about our abortion healing Bible studies. Life’s Choices is here for you. Contact Us “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” –Psalm 34:18 #pregnancyloss #childloss #griefandhealing #miscarriageawareness #abortionregret #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #infantloss #abortionhealing #kutztown #pregnancylossandinfantawarenessmonth

Family relationships take work! No one is a perfect parent, child, spouse or sibling, and there’s always room for growth and change. At Life’s Choices, one of our goals is to provide our community with the necessary and supplemental resources needed to develop into the best person they can be! With the right books and classes comes learning and maturing. It’s always worth it to work on ourselves. When mentoring clients, Life’s Choices’ staff uses a variety of excellent literature. Today we’re sharing eight of our book recommendations for parents and families. HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR FAVORITE PARENTING BOOKS: Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend “Long before I worked here, I did this book with a group of parents and it was both parenting-affirming and life-changing for me.” -Kolleen Long, Hamburg Center Director The 5 Love Languages for Children by Gary Chapman An insightful way to show your child you love them in a way that is most meaningful to him or her. One of our favorites on this list! The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson A great combination of brain science and parenting strategies. Living More With Less by Doris Janzen Longacre This book is not just about living on a budget, but it is a thoughtful approach to living a sustainable life as a modern family. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka “As the mom of two strong-willed children (now young adults), I wish I had had this book as a guide when they were in their formative years. This is the first book I read that fully addresses the positives of this personality type while honestly considering the related parenting challenges.” -Kolleen Long, Hamburg Center Director Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson A spiritual take on the mixed emotions of early motherhood (the drive for perfectionism, feelings of isolation, struggles with culture, etc.) No More Perfect Kids by Jill Savage and Kathy Koch A look into how to appreciate your kids for who they are: made in God’s image. Adventuring Together by Greta Eskridge We hope you enjoy these reads! For more book recommendations or to learn more about our parenting, prenatal, relationship and life skills classes, contact Life’s Choices today. Contact Us #booksforparents #parenting #bookrecommendationsforparents #bookrecommendations #parentingbooks #helpfulparentingbooks #motherhood #fatherhood #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztown #parentingclasses

The path to motherhood is one that can start at many different entry points. For many it begins at conception. For some women, it begins with the generous and selfless gift given by another mother, or perhaps through one’s own generosity to open her home to a child in need. Rest assured, no matter how a woman’s motherhood adventure begins, all paths are equally as valuable and lead to one of the most important and gratifying roles a woman can hold. AN UNPREDICTABLE JOURNEY However one’s journey begins, it will be filled with many twists and turns along the road. You’ve probably heard the phase, “Children don’t come with instruction manuals.” There are no truer words, and guess what — each child is his/her own unique design created by God to fulfill His special purpose. As you embark on your journey with your unique child, know that God has equipped you with everything you need to raise your child. With each turn of motherhood, there will be new challenges, but there are many rewards. The pure joy of just watching a child discover all the wonders in this world for the first time is a gift and a wonderful reminder to stop and appreciate the beauty that is surrounding us. As a mother watches her child(ren) grow, she will learn again and again to take pleasure in the simplest of things like watching them roll over for the first time, clap their hands, take their first steps, or see her baby smile for the first time. There are no words that can express the joy in a mother’s heart as she experiences those moments. What a beautiful reminder of how one of the simplest of acts — a smile — is so important to share with others. A REMINDER OF GOD’S GOODNESS It is said that children are a blessing, and indeed they are. Maybe, just maybe, it is because they are God’s gift to remind us of all that is good. In a world full of turmoil, He has given us their eyes to see beauty, feel joy again, and remind us of His greatest commandment: love. Wow — what a gift! It is a unique honor and privilege to be a mother. A mother’s children are the most valuable treasure in her life. A woman has been handpicked and chosen by God to mother each of her unique children. MAMA, YOU ARE LOVED Mama, you are stronger than you know. You got this. With God’s help, you are enough! Mama, you have been created with the distinct ability to know your child’s individual needs. There is no “one size fits all” for every child or family. Trust that inner voice to help you bring up the gift that has been laid before you; remember that gift was entrusted to you and not anyone else in this world. Let’s remember the challenges we do face as mothers. Not all paths of motherhood are smooth sailing. It’s important to stand together and be the village of support for one another. As we look at our own challenges, let them be reminders of the importance of being a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. We must uplift each other with kindness, encouragement, and above all, love. We pray that every mother understands her worth in God. Mama, you are loved. If you’re looking for support or encouragement today in your motherhood journey, Life’s Choices is here for you. We offer a variety of free resources including parenting classes, relationship classes, baby items, mentorship and more. Contact us today to learn more about how Life’s Choices can support you in your path through motherhood. Contact Us “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.” –Isaiah 66:13 #newbornmom #motherhood #motherhoodjourney #adoptivemother #mentorshipclasses #motherhoodadventure #hamburgpennsylvania #mothering #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #birthmother #kutztown #parentingclasses

A newborn cry announces the arrival of a new life into the world this side of the uterus. For nine months, the baby has been nestled in the safety of his or her mother’s womb, now to be delivered into the security of his or her mother’s arms. Postpartum, also known as the “fourth trimester,” is sometimes a part of the pregnancy journey that is taken for granted. Baby is here, but now what? Whether mommy and baby’s birth journey involved a vaginal birth or a c-section, this time can be filled with many new emotions, questions, wonders, and challenges. “What is all this craziness going on post-delivery?” “Is my baby supposed to look like that?” “Breast or bottle — I don’t want to be judged!” “Are these changes to my body normal?” “Am I enough for my baby?“ These are just a few questions we will explore as we discuss the postpartum stage in your pregnancy journey. If you didn’t get a chance to read about the first trimester, second trimester, or third trimester, you catch up in our previous blog posts: First Trimester Second Trimester Third Trimester BABY IS BORN: NOW WHAT? As a new mother clings tightly to her newborn in amazement. She can’t but help to notice the bustle around her. There is still a placenta to be delivered and cord blood to be collected. The obstetrician or midwife will look to see if any repair needs to be done in the vaginal/perineal area or, in the case of a cesarean section, repairing the surgical site. The nurse will be assessing the baby, and of course there is clean up of you and the room because birth is messy. Over the next one to two hours, the nurse will check your uterus by pushing down on your fundus (top of the uterus) to make sure it is firm and your lochia (the bleeding post-delivery) is a normal amount. SKIN-TO-SKIN During this period, it is important to do as much skin-to-skin as possible with baby. Skin-to-skin helps to transition the baby to his or her new environment by helping to regulate baby’s body temperature and breathing. It also encourages the baby to want to breastfeed. If a woman has had a cesarean section, she should still be able to have that skin-to-skin bonding time. She should talk to her nurse about her desire to do skin-to-skin and possibly breastfeed baby while still in the operating room. You will find that most facilities are accommodating to this request. If for any reason mom is not able to do skin-to-skin with baby, baby can experience the same benefits (minus the breastfeeding) from skin-to-skin with daddy or another support person in the room. YOUR NEWBORN’S APPEARANCE Seeing your newborn immediately after birth may leave you with some question about their appearance. Here are some of the most asked questions from parents about their newborn: Will their head stay like that? No, the bones in the baby’s head are designed to move around, molding to the birth canal to allow baby to be born; baby’s head will typically go back to its normal shape over the first 2 days. Does cutting the baby’s umbilical cord hurt the baby? No, there are no nerve endings in the umbilical cord. They do not feel anything. Also, it’s important to note: a parent does not need to do anything to the baby’s umbilical cord. It will dry up and fall off all on its own. But do remember, sponge baths only until the umbilical cord does fall off. SIDE NOTE ABOUT BATHS: Most likely the nurse will delay bathing the baby after delivery — not before four hours post-delivery and sometimes even longer. Delaying the bath helps to insure they have regulated their body temperature, and it also aids in building their immune system by allowing mom’s natural microorganisms to remain present on baby’s skin. Is it normal for my baby’s hands and feet to have a bluish color? Yes, this is called acrocyanosis and can be present during the first two days after birth. However, if you notice baby has a bluish appearance other than just his/her hands and feet, this is not normal and the parents should seek immediate healthcare for their infant. MORE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS If you’re a first time mom (and even if it’s not your first time), it’s normal to have many questions. There is so much to learn during postpartum, and it’s perfectly fine to ask for help! Here are a few more common questions about: How should I feed my baby? The only right answer to this question is: “Feed your baby.” Yes, breastmilk is better than formula and provides many health benefits. However, moms have many reasons they may choose to formula feed, and that’s absolutely OK. Her baby is being fed, and that is what is most important. As a community we need to support these new mommies and their families with encouraging words and love, not our own opinions and judgment. What changes might a new mommy experience with her postpartum body? – Lochia: As mentioned above, women will experience lochia after giving birth. A women will typically have lochia for up to six weeks after delivering her baby. The lochia will initially be red in color (blood), but it will lighten up to a pinkish and then almost like brown/clear color over the next few weeks. If at any time a woman notices that her lochia is heavier than her normal period, she is passing blood clots the size of a small plum or larger, or that it has a fowl odor, she should contact her obstetrician/midwife immediately. – Uterus shrinking: This new mommy will probably notice that her body looks to be in her second trimester of pregnancy. This happens because her uterus was stretched to accommodate her growing baby. It’s important to remember that it took nine months for her uterus to grow, and it will take some time for her uterus to shrink back to its original pear sized shape. Mommies may notice period like cramps as this process is occurring. – Breast changes: Next, she will notice changes in her breasts. With in two to five days after giving birth, her body will go from producing colostrum to breast milk. When her breast milk arrives, she will most likely experience engorgement. This means that her breast will become very full of milk and firm to touch. For some women, engorgement can be uncomfortable, but for others it can be a painful experience. Cold compresses to the breast can help. Avoid heat or hot showers. Although the heat may feel good initially, the heat increases the blood flow to the breast which will increase milk supply and encourage further engorgement. Don’t worry — this phase doesn’t last forever, and your milk supply will adjust to your baby’s needs. Please be aware: if at any time a woman experiences engorgement accompanied by a red, warm/hot-to-touch painful area on her breast, possibly even accompanied by a fever, she should call her healthcare provider as she may have developed mastitis. Mastitis is an infection in the breast tissue typically caused by a clogged milk duct or sometimes a bacterium that has entered the breast and is seen most in the first three months of breastfeeding. Her doctor will probably order antibiotics and recommend that she continues to breastfeed as it is beneficial to the healing process. – Postpartum Depression: It is also important to remember that the change in a woman’s hormones coupled with lack of sleep may cause some moms to feel overwhelmed or depressed. This can be normal. However, if these feelings last beyond two weeks or a mom feels like harming herself or her baby, she should seek help from her healthcare provider immediately as she may be suffering from postpartum depression. Moms, allow yourselves time to heal. Take this time to just relax and enjoy the time with your new bundle of joy. Also, make sure to take advantage if any one offers to bless you with a food train or other assistance around your house. Don’t be afraid to ask for help — it takes a village! Remember, you are enough for your baby! A child is a beautiful gift from God, and He has equipped each parent with the specific ability to raise that child. Parents, give yourself grace; God does. With each new baby comes a learning curve. He or she is a distinct human being with his or her own personality, and it will take time for both mom and baby to learn about each other. Try to enjoy the process, and let yourself grow in your love for your baby as you learn and discover this new stage of life. YOU’RE NOT ALONE Thank you for taking the time to follow along with us as we discussed the journey of pregnancy these last several weeks! We hope this has been a helpful resource to you. More than anything, we hope you know you’re not alone. Whatever stage you find yourself — whether early in your pregnancy or in the thick of parenting — Life’s Choices is here to walk beside you. If you’re seeking more resources to help you through your pregnancy, postpartum, parenting, relationships and more, Life’s Choices offers completely free classes on a variety of topics. From free childbirth classes to parenting classes and beyond, we encourage you to sign up for one of our free classes, or please contact us today with any questions. We would love to support you and be a free resource to you! Contact Us “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.” Psalms 127:3 #newbornmom #pregnancyjourney #postpartumdepression #fourthtrimester #fetusdevelopment #fetaldevelopment #humandevelopment #journeyofpregnancy #babydevelopment #newborn #laboranddelivery #postpartum #newbornparents #amazingjourneyofpregnancy #pregnancyprocess #pregnancy #newbornparenting

If you’ve been following along over the past several weeks, we’ve been sharing what to expect in each stage of the pregnancy journey. For both your body and your baby’s body, so much happens from the first trimester through labor and delivery (and into postpartum)! Today, we’re breaking down the pregnancy journey in the third trimester, from mom’s symptoms to baby’s development and much more. If you didn’t get a chance to read about the first trimester and second trimester, you catch up in our previous blog posts: First Trimester Second Trimester As mom enters the third trimester, she is now in the homestretch of her pregnancy and will soon be meeting the beautiful and unique little human that has been kicking, swirling, and twirling inside her for the past nine months. The third trimester of pregnancy is defined by the 28th through the 40th weeks of pregnancy, although some babies prefer a little extra time in their mommy’s womb (uterus) and may hang out here up to 42 weeks gestation. SYMPTOMS IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER During this phase of pregnancy, mothers may start to experience something known as “nesting.” Nesting is simply an innate urge to clean one’s house well, along with cleaning and setting up baby items. Simply put, mommy is getting ready to bring her baby home. She will also notice more changes to her body. Baby will be gaining a lot of weight during the third trimester, and this will cause the mother to feel very “full” in her belly. She may also want to know where the bathrooms are when visiting different places as frequent urination has returned. The soon to be mother may also experience an increase in acid reflux, otherwise known as heartburn, for two reasons: As the baby grows it compresses the intestines slowing down digestion. The hormones, progesterone and relaxin, needed to support your pregnancy has relaxed the smooth muscles in your digestive tract. This alone slows down the peristalsis, which is the movement inside your intestines to move food through your digestive tract. These hormones also relax the valve (esophageal sphincter) between the stomach and esophagus (the tube-like organ that allows food to travel from your mouth to your stomach). A woman may also notice that her feet have grown. Yes, it’s true, and it’s not just from the swelling in her feet either! These same two hormones are also relaxing all the joints in a mother’s body. This allows for the hip joints to expand and allow passage for the baby through the hip bones and into the birth canal, otherwise known as the vagina. Even though we don’t need our feet to expand to give birth, these hormones cannot pick and choose joints. But don’t fret, just think of it as a happy excuse to go shoe shopping. BABY’S GROWTH AND PROGRESS So, what is happening with baby during this time? As mentioned earlier, the baby will gain weight quickly in the third trimester, but there is still much more to come. By 28 weeks, the baby is partially opening his or her eyes. The central nervous system has matured enough to regulate rhythmic breathing and body temperature. Remember, your baby is breathing in his or her amniotic fluid which is vital to helping the baby’s lungs mature. Fun fact: Did you know amniotic fluid in the third trimester consists primarily of the baby’s urine? It’s true, really! Baby in utero at 32 weeks, 1 day At 30 weeks, the baby’s eyes are now wide open, and he or she may possibly have a full head of hair. At this stage of development, the baby has begun with grasping movements; babies have even been seen grasping onto their umbilical cords during ultrasounds. Also, his or her red blood cells have begun forming the bone marrow. Once the baby reaches 34 weeks gestation, all the major organ systems are developed. The baby’s finger and toenails are fully grown in, and other than the cranial bones, the bones are becoming even harder, stronger. It is important for the cranial bones to remain soft and moveable to be able to mold the baby’s head to fit through the pelvic bones and into the birth canal. This is the reason you may hear others talk about babies being born with a cone head. No worries, though! This is normal, and the baby’s head will return to its normal shape typically within the first 48 hours. PREPARING FOR LABOR This brings us to our 35 and 36 week gestation babies. In the world of Labor and Delivery, we like to refer to these babies as “the great pretenders.” If a baby is born at this gestational age, they may appear to be full term, weight wise, etc., but it is important to not be fooled. Although some of these babies will do well without any needed intervention when born, this is not the case for all, and they will need to be closely monitored. Once a pregnant mother reaches 37 weeks gestation, her baby is full term. At some point now, most moms will notice that their “belly has dropped.” What is happening is the baby has moved further into the pelvic region, essentially that would be the baby’s head moving down and nestled between the hip bones. What should a woman expect when her labor starts? Labor is very different for every woman, and one woman’s pregnancies all may differ from each other. Typically, if it is the first time a woman is laboring, she should prepare herself for a marathon. Her body has never done this before, and it will take time, sometimes a few days, so we encourage her to be patient with herself and her baby. We also recommend both women and their partners to take a birthing class, especially if it is their first baby. Life’s Choices offers free childbirth classes, so please feel free to contact us at any time to schedule yours. It is a good idea for a mom to put together a birth plan and discuss it ahead of time — ideally during a prenatal visit – with her healthcare provider and then again with her labor and delivery nurse. Although birth plans are important, women should keep an open mind. Labor and delivery can sometimes come with unplanned events, and it will be important to be flexible to insure a happy and healthy outcome for both mom and baby. THE DETAILS OF DELIVERY Babies can exit the womb through two different passageways, vaginal or cesarean section (a surgical incision made thought the abdomen). Both are very admiral ways to deliver, and any woman should be proud of her accomplishment. For this post, however, we are going to focus on the three stages of labor (vaginal delivery). Stage One of Labor: Dilation During the first stage, the woman’s cervix will dilate from 0 to 10 centimeters This occurs through the women’s uterus contracting and squeezing the baby. Contractions typically start like mild menstrual cramps and increase in intensity as labor progresses. When the baby is squeezed, it forces the baby’s head to apply pressure on the cervix, which causes the cervix to dilate and moves the baby down into the birth canal. The baby’s position is measured as “station.” The first stage of labor is the longest stage of labor. This is also the time when a mother may notice her “water,” or the baby’s amniotic sac, break either naturally or artificially by a healthcare provider. Stage Two of Labor: Active Pushing Once a woman has reached 10 centimeters dilated, she can begin to push. At this stage, women who are unmedicated will feel an uncontrollable urge to bare down. If the woman has an epidural, her urge at this stage may vary from feeling no urge to feeling a pressure sensation in her rectum/vaginal area (or that unbearable urge to push). This stage can take anywhere from a few pushes up to four hours. Pushing time is dependent on position of baby, if it’s a woman’s first delivery, the shape of a woman’s pelvis and whether she has an epidural or not. Once this precious new life has emerged from the womb to the room, mom may notice baby’s color may be blue or pale initially, and baby will be covered in amniotic fluid and blood. There is no need for alarm — this is all normal. As the baby begins to cry and fill his or her lungs with oxygen, the baby’s color will improve. Then a nurse will stimulate and dry off the baby while the new mother holds her new bundle of joy in her arms — it is a messy process. This, however, is not the end of the birthing process, because the woman still must deliver the placenta. Stage Three of Labor: Delivering the Placenta Delivering the placenta does not take any effort on the mother’s part. Within up to 30 minutes after the baby is born, the placenta will separate from the uterus and deliver out of the vagina. This is also the time when a health care provider will check to see if a woman needs any stiches to repair any tears in the vagina or perineal area that occurred during the birth of the baby. Meanwhile, mom is holding and snuggling her new little blessing. There is no such thing as a pain free birth — it does not exist. Yes, there are pain medications and other options like epidural to help with pain control, but labor is not pain free. It is hard work. Please remember that pain that comes with contractions is positive. It means that a women’s body is doing the right thing to help deliver her baby — she is ok. Women, you are stronger than you know. Remember, God brought forth life. He created mankind and breathed His breath into us. God has blessed women with the same awesomeness and pleasure that God Himself has experienced. He has entrusted women with also bringing life into this world. What an amazing Gift He has given! In our next blog post, we’ll be sharing about what to expect in the postpartum stage of pregnancy, also known as “the fourth trimester.” We hope you’ll continue to follow along as we get ready to conclude our series on the pregnancy journey! For more information about pregnancy and postpartum, we encourage you to sign up for one of our free prenatal classes. Contact us today to schedule your class. Contact Us “A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.” -John 16:21 #pregnancyjourney #detailsofdelivery #fetusdevelopment #fetaldevelopment #fetus #humandevelopment #humanferitlization #journeyofpregnancy #laborpains #28weekspregnant #babydevelopment #symptomsofthethirdtrimester #laboranddelivery #preparingforlabor #amazingjourneyofpregnancy #thirdtrimester #pregnancyprocess #pregnancy