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There’s nothing like the holidays. We gather with far-flung family and friends, sample indulgent treats and sing seasonal songs. And then there are the presents. It’s certainly fun getting a well-chosen gift, but even better — watching a loved-one’s face as they open your gift to them. However, things that we enjoy can also lead to excess. And just like we need to avoid overeating during the holidays, we also must watch our budgets when it comes to gift giving. According to the magnifymoney.com, the average American took on an extra $1,325 in debt last year at Christmas. And if your finances are already tight, it can take well into the New Year to pay off that debt. Spending Christmas on a budget might not sound fun, but a few key points can help keep your holiday spending in check and help you better enjoy the things that matter most: spending time with our family as we remember the ultimate gift of a baby Boy born in a lowly stable. TIP #1: SET A BUDGET It’s far too easy to get carried away when buying gifts. Stores lure us in with tempting sales, and with a few taps on our phone, we can have almost anything delivered to our doorstop. However, it’s a smart idea to have a plan before you start spending. Start by writing down the people on your gift list. As cold as it may sound, put them in priority order. Children and significant others go at the top of the list, friends and close coworkers in the middle, distant relatives and less known neighbors at the bottom. If you have children, you will need to make a list with/for them as well. Next, consider your bank account. Ideally, you start setting aside money early in the year and have a fund ready to go for Christmas (and birthdays and the like). But if not, don’t despair and (this is important) don’t go for your Visa. Instead, look at how much money you bring in on a monthly basis, subtract your monthly necessities and the result is your maximum budget for Christmas. The earlier you start this process, the more money you will have in play. So start today, then divvy up the money to those on your list. Set your budget, check your figures, and then stick to it. Keep the list handy on your phone or print out a hard copy. As you buy gifts, make sure the total tracks and note what you’ve spent on your list. This will also help you remember what you bought so you don’t end up with extra gifts for individuals. As you set your budget, consider ways you can give a loving and appreciated gift that is still low cost. Stocking stuffers can be purchased at the Dollar Store, children can make coupon books for grandparents (free hugs, anyone?) and — if you are crafty and have them time — crafts and baked treats are always a good idea. You can also give the gift of experiences: make a gift certificate to take your significant other on a date including a homemade picnic, walk on a favorite trail and marshmallows over the fireplace. It really is the thought that counts! For a more detailed approach on setting up a christmas budget, check out Dave Ramsey’s Zero-Based Christmas approach. He has some sound ideas for budgeting at Christmas and year round! Hint: if your budget is tight, you and the adults in your life (significant other, siblings, adult friends) can make a no-gift rule. Agree to gather for a favorite meal and simply enjoy time together. You can also consider a trading-name gift exchange for cousins or groups of neighborhood friends. Each child buys one gift for a set amount and fun is had by all. TIP #2: FOLLOW THE THREE-GIFT RULE FOR KIDS It’s a simple idea but takes some discipline to stick to it. For each child, you buy three and only three gifts: Something they want (i.e., a toy or game) Something they need (a coat or shoes) Something to read (books, magazine subscription, etc). You can tailor the list to each child’s interest, just make sure you stick to your budget as you select items for each category. Rachel Bowie, on purewow.com, notes the idea originated from the wise men who brought Baby Jesus three gifts. She says that today, “modern moms are using it as a way to save money, reduce holiday stress and encourage their kids to be more thoughtful with their Christmas gift asks.” Hint: if your budget still has some wiggle room here, consider giving your family a group gift of an experience. Purchase tickets to a favorite indoor water park, announce a plan to go to dinner and a movie together, or consider trying something new: a painting class, an escape room, etc. You can even offer a low-cost experience: grab snacks at the grocery store and take a “road rally” scavenger hunt. TIP #3: HOMEMADE TREATS This is a great idea for the many people on your list that deserve some special recognition at Christmas time. Think classroom teachers, bus drivers, mail delivery persons, hair stylists, etc. Skip the coffee mugs and Christmas tchotchkes and make some homemade treats instead. Pull out your Aunt Doris’ sugar cookie recipe, make a mini loaf of sweet bread or try this simple treat idea: melt chocolate almond bark, stir in salted peanuts and drop by the teaspoon onto waxed paper. These salty-sweet treats are a hit! Package your treats by the 3s, 6s or 12s in a festive cellophane bag (hint, you can buy these by the dozen for just a buck at dollar stores) and finish with inexpensive curly ribbon. Of course, taking the time to write a personal note of thanks will put this gift to the next level. If your budget can afford it (see point one above) you can always tuck in a gift card to a coffee shop, gas station or office supply store. Note: postal carriers cannot accept cash or gift cards per the United States Postal System site. Give them some extra treats instead. At Life’s Choices, we offer practical help year round on setting budgets, getting out of debt and other finance skills. Contact us to see if our class selection is right for you. Our classes are offered at a budget-friendly cost of $0 and can be taken in person or virtually via Zoom. Schedule your class today: Free Budgeting Classes #pennsylvania #christmasonabudget #hamburg #berkscounty #budget #familyfun

Last week we shared Part 1 of our tips on easing early pregnancy symptoms, from morning sickness to pelvic pain and everything in between. If you missed it, you can read it here. Here are a few more of the common symptoms you may experience as you progress in your pregnancy, as well as some tips in dealing with discomfort (taken from the Bright Course classes we offer to new moms). Disclaimer: Because each pregnancy is different, be sure to contact your medical provider if you have any concerns. Your medical team is there to help you navigate the many changes your body will be going through. HEARTBURN Heartburn is a sharp burning pain that is first felt in the stomach and then rises up into the throat. When you are pregnant, your body produces a hormone to relax your muscles. This allows your pelvic bones to spread. It also slows digestion and relaxes the muscle that keeps the digested food and acids in your stomach, stopping it from re-entering the esophagus. This is made worse by the uterus pressing up against your stomach. What May Help: Eat five or six small meals a day instead of two or three large ones. Don’t eat foods that cause gas like beans, cabbage, raw broccoli, etc. Also, stay away from greasy and spicy foods. Eat at least an hour before lying down. NUMBNESS AND TINGLING As the uterus grows, it rests on certain nerves, which can result in numbness and tingling in the legs, the toes and sometimes the arms. If you feel a sharp pain in your butt that extends down your leg, perhaps even to your toes, then the sciatic nerve is involved. This is usually not serious and will go away after the baby is born. What May Help: Gentle massage, soothing baths, stretching and making sure to vary your sleep positions can all help to mange some of these symptoms. SKIN CHANGES When you are pregnant, you produce hormones that affect certain areas of your skin. You may get brownish, uneven blotches around your eyes, above your eyes and cheekbones, or over your upper lip. These marks usually disappear or fade after pregnancy when hormone levels return to normal. Many women notice a dark line running from the top to the bottom of the abdomen. Stretch marks are sometimes the most distressing thing about pregnancy, especially for teenagers. However, they are a normal part of pregnancy. Their severity depends on the elasticity of your skin. They occur on the abdomen and sometimes on the breasts, thighs, and butt. No cream, including cocoa butter, will help prevent stretch marks. It is your skin’s ability to stretch, not how soft it is, that affects the stretch marks. What May Help: While most stretch marks fade and turn silver on their own, there are some prescription creams that can help diminish stretch marks after pregnancy. See your doctor if you have concerns. SWELLING AND VARICOSE VEINS Swelling is normal during pregnancy. It occurs most often in the legs. It is caused by the growing uterus putting pressure on the blood vessels that carry fluid from the feet and ankles. Too little protein in your diet may also cause your body to retain fluid. If you have swelling in your hands and face, notify your doctor, as this can signify another problem. Varicose veins are swollen veins that appear most often in the legs but can also appear near the vagina. They are caused by pressure from the weight of the baby on the veins. They tend to occur more often if you have to stand or sit for long periods of time. What May Help: Elevate your legs whenever possible Lie on your side in bed Don’t wear anything that binds your legs, such as tight stockings on your ankles Exercise daily SHORTNESS OF BREATH You may feel short of breath as the baby grows and fills up your abdomen. As your baby grows inside your uterus, it expands and takes up room in your abdomen. What May Help: Exercising good posture by standing up straight will give your lungs more room to expand. Sleeping propped up on your left side is the best position for circulation. When you feel breathless, slow down because rushing makes your lungs and heart work harder. Talk to your medical provider about your symptoms and concerns as well. At Life’s Choices we offer many resources to help you prepare for and manage the changes your body will be going through in the months ahead. Our Bright Course classes allow you to learn about pregnancy, parenting, and relationship issues. These simple classes are available in our office or virtually and allow you to earn points to spend on baby items in our boutique. If you are interested in learning more, contact our office, and we will be happy to help you get started. Contact Us Today #pennsylvania #morningsickness #hamburg #freeultrasounds #pregnancysymptoms #covid19pregnancy #freepregnancytest #pregnancytest #berkscounty #prenataleducation #prenatalclasses #coronaviruspregnancy #kutztown #pregnancy

Ask any mom, and she can tell you all about what her pregnancy was like. Some had an easy nine months, and some struggled as their bodies tackled the monumental task of forming the new life inside them. Today we’re sharing “Part 1” of the expected changes and tips taken from the Bright Course classes that we offer to new moms. You may experience some of these common symptoms as you progress in your pregnancy. Disclaimer: Because each pregnancy is different, be sure to contact your medical provider if you have any concerns. Your medical team is there to help you navigate the many changes your body will be going through. BREAST CHANGES Have you noticed that your breasts are tender and getting bigger? Perhaps this was one of the signs that made you suspect you were pregnant. By six to eight weeks of pregnancy, your breasts will be noticeably larger. But there are other changes going on in your breasts as they prepare for breastfeeding. The fat layer of your breasts is thickening, and the number of milk glands is increasing. Your breasts will continue to grow in size and weight throughout the first trimester. Your breasts will feel firm and tender. What May Help: Wearing a more supportive full coverage bra will help by lifting the breast and helping to relief pressure. Some women find wearing a larger size or even a sports bra can help. Wearing a bra while sleeping can also help you feel more comfortable at night. Cold compresses may help. Placing a light-weight towel over the chest and using an ice pack or even a bag of frozen peas can offer some relief. Others have found that a warm shower helps by easing the tension of the surrounding muscles. NAUSEA AND VOMITING One of the most common complaints from pregnant women is “morning sickness,” which is caused by changing hormones. Women feel nauseous and sometimes vomit the first thing in the morning when the stomach is empty. While “morning sickness” usually lasts for a short time during the day, some women feel nauseous for longer periods of time and sometimes later into pregnancy. What May Help: Eat saltine crackers, pretzels, or dry toast before getting out of bed and wait 15 minutes before getting out of bed. Eat smaller but more frequent meals. Avoid spicy, greasy, and acidic foods. Eating bland foods is best. If nausea or vomiting becomes severe, notify your doctor. Always check with your doctor before you take any medication or herbal remedies. FEELING TIRED During the first three months, you may feel exhausted much of the time, no matter how much you sleep. This will pass, but while you are feeling this way, take a nap when possible. What May Help: Eating well, staying hydrated, and exercising can help you get through this time in your pregnancy. CONSTIPATION AND HEMORRHOIDS At least half of all pregnant women have problems with constipation. One of the reasons for this may be the changes in hormones that slow the movement of food through the digestive tract. During the last part of the pregnancy, pressure on your rectum from your uterus may add to the problem. Pregnant women who are constipated often also have hemorrhoids which are swollen veins in the rectum. What May Help: Drink plenty of fluids, at least eight glasses each day. Include fruit juices, such as prune juice. Eat high-fiber food, like raw fruits and vegetables and bran cereals. Exercise daily. CRAMPS AND GROIN OR PELVIC PAIN In the last trimester, you may find that you have leg cramps. The pains are most common between 18 and 24 weeks. As the uterus grows, the round ligaments are pulled and stretched. Stretching ligaments can cause a sharp pain in your abdomen, usually on the side, or a dull ache. What May Help: Stretching your legs before going to bed can help relieve cramps. If you get a cramp, flex your toes toward your knee to stretch the muscle and relieve the cramp. When you feel a pain in your abdomen, bend toward the pain to relieve it. Contact your medical provider if you are experiencing severe pain that does not go away, pain accompanied by contractions or bleeding, or pains in the shoulder or neck. FREQUENT URINATION An active bladder is caused by pressure from the growing uterus on the bladder, which holds the urine. As your uterus grows and rises higher into your abdomen, the symptoms usually disappear. However, they will probably recur toward the end of your third trimester when the baby drops into the pelvis and again presses against the bladder. You may find that you leak urine when you sneeze or cough. What May Help: Avoid beverages and foods that contain caffeine which can make you need to pee more often. Limiting the amount of liquids you consume just before going to bed will help to keep you from having to wake in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. For more pregnancy symptoms and ways to ease them, see Part 2 next week. At Life’s Choices we offer many resources to help you prepare for and manage the changes your body will be going through in the months ahead. Our Bright Course classes allow you to learn about pregnancy, parenting, and relationship issues. These simple classes are available in our office or virtually and allow you to earn points to spend on baby items in our boutique. If you are interested in learning more, contact our office, and we will be happy to help you get started. Contact Us Today #pennsylvania #morningsickness #hamburg #freeultrasounds #pregnancysymptoms #covid19pregnancy #freepregnancytest #pregnancytest #berkscounty #prenataleducation #prenatalclasses #coronaviruspregnancy #kutztown #pregnancy

“My parents are going to kill me.” This is a common reaction from a teen or young adult who has just found out she’s pregnant. Sharing the news of an unplanned pregnancy with parents can be daunting and difficult. Depending upon what she feels your goals and expectations are for her, your daughter may be terrified to approach you. So, if she comes to you in tears, with the news she is pregnant, you can be proud that you have raised a courageous young woman. Realistically, though, it’s more likely that other, less positive emotions are flooding your heart and mind — especially if the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy are less than ideal. Shock, anger, disappointment and humiliation are all common reactions to discovering your son or daughter is going to be a parent sooner than you had hoped or expected. But be assured that you are not the first parents to face this situation. You’re going to get through this one step at a time. Here are some steps to help you move forward. STEP ONE: DON’T OVERREACT Don’t jeopardize your future relationship by saying things you will later regret. If you’ve already blown it, you can still go back and assure her of your love. Avoid blaming or having a condemning attitude. Put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her fears. Trust God’s ability to bring beauty out of brokenness. He specializes in this! Here are some words she needs to hear you say, from the booklet She’s Pregnant, Now What published by Focus on the Family[i]: “I’ll always love you. No matter what.” “We’re here for you and will help you in whatever way we can.” “It’s not what we planned, but it will be okay.” “We will get through this together.” STEP TWO: HELPING HER PROCESS HER NEXT STEPS Here are a few ways to be a support to your daughter: Affirm your confidence in her. Help her make a pros/cons list of her options. Encourage her to make rational, thoughtful decisions. Avoid saying, “We’ll support you whatever you decide.” This could make her feel she’s alone in the process. Share things that you’ve learned from your own life experiences. If your daughter is not ready to be a parent, Life’s Choices can provide information about her options as she processes this very important decision. We have information about any option she is considering whether it be parenting, adoption or abortion. We do not provide or refer for abortions, however we have factual information so she can make an informed decision. Please contact us if we can help in this way. STEP THREE: SHARING THE NEWS It’s okay to be happy about a new baby coming! You may disapprove of your daughter’s actions that led to the pregnancy, but being pregnant is not a sin. It’s okay to celebrate it! Throw her a baby shower. Be supportive even while you allow her to experience the realistic consequences of her situation, both joyful and difficult. Remember to focus on what is best for your daughter and not on what others think. You will get a variety of reactions and opinions, and not all will be helpful. Try not to be offended. Be honest about your feelings with trusted friends. There will be many opportunities for growth and character development in both you and your daughter in the coming months. STEP FOUR: FINDING SUPPORT Your daughter is fortunate to have loving family to support her, but she may need more than you can give. Allow her to show responsibility by contacting local agencies to help her provide independently for her child as much as she can. Life’s Choices is here to help. We can offer the following free resources: Free ultrasound to determine gestational age, detect heartbeat and confirm a viable uterine pregnancy 60 day supply of prenatal vitamins Childbirth and breastfeeding classes with trained R.N. instructor Pregnancy and parenting classes one-on-one either in the office or virtually Opportunity to earn free baby supplies including diapers, wipes, clothing and a brand new car seat. “Earn While You Learn” classes are available throughout pregnancy, as baby grows into toddlerhood and beyond. Referrals to other resources like medical assistance, food pantries, etc. STEP FIVE: CELEBRATE THE POSITIVE THINGS A new life has begun! The timing might not be the way you would have chosen it, but every life created is a gift from the gracious heart of God. This baby – your grandchild – was created for a purpose. Celebrate your grandbaby! You might not feel ready. In fact, you might feel much too young to be a grandparent. The truth is, Nanas and PopPops seem to be much younger and cooler looking than they used to be. Being a grandparent is an experience like none other, and you are going to discover a new kind of love you never knew existed. Don’t rob yourself of the joy by clinging to your disapproval. Now, you are going to have a new, common bond with your daughter – being a parent. Your relationship will change as your daughter becomes a mother. She’ll understand you better, and you can be a mentor and model to her. She’s going to grow up fast, and you will need to allow her the space to do that. Be supportive, but resist the urge to step in and take over. Whatever lies ahead for you and your daughter, we’d love to walk beside you. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help: Contact Us Today [i] 2009, 2012 Focus on the Family She’s Pregnant, Now What? Written by Holly M. Duncan, M.Ed., LPC #pennsylvania #hamburg #freeultrasounds #covid19pregnancy #freepregnancytest #pregnancytest #stressinpregnancy #daughterispregnant #pregnantstress #pregnancystress #berkscounty #prenataleducation #coronaviruspregnancy #kutztown #pregnancy

In light of COVID health concerns, we moved our fall fundraising dinner on September 29 to a lovely country venue, Stone Spring Farms in Hamburg, Pennsylvania. Over 200 guests gathered for a catered barbecue meal — social distance style — while bidding on theme baskets, spinning our ministry trivia wheel and tucking into whoopie pies. The program centered around the theme of Mosaic: Broken Pieces, Brave Choices, Beautiful Life. We were thrilled to welcome Toni McFadden as our keynote speaker. At Life’s Choices, we understand life goes in unexpected directions. Our personal stories are filled with broken pieces; our clients face challenges and hard choices. But we remain convinced that, even in the hardest circumstances, God can make something beautiful. TESTIMONIES OF HOPE This year’s Mosaic theme resonated even before guest speaker Toni McFadden took the podium. Several client videos spotlighted times when lives were altered by news of an unexpected pregnancy. “I was nervous,” one woman remembered about finding out she was pregnant, “and I wasn’t quite sure how I’d take care of her. Life’s Choices helped me a lot. I don’t know if I’d be as confident being a mom if I hadn’t gone to Life’s Choices.” “We were actually pretty excited about the pregnancy, but the timing was a bit off,” another said, sharing how she came into the office for a pregnancy test, confirmation ultrasound and parenting classes with her partner. “We were able to walk from the beginning stages of the pregnancy all the way to the birth with Life’s Choices.” A third client admitted, “When I first found out I was going to be a mama, I bawled my eyes out. In that moment, I so badly wanted to have that plus sign turn into a negative.” She described the transition from shock to becoming a parent, including fitting in prenatal education classes at Life’s Choices between school and work. She explained, “They set a foundation for us, they were encouraging and supportive all at the same time. “Having a baby opened up our eyes. It feels like we are seeing a whole new world again. Everything is so fresh and fun. Our journey turned out much better than we could ever have expected. We wake up every day with so much joy and gratitude in our hearts.” WHAT’S NEW AT LIFE’S CHOICES Like our community, Life’s Choices faced challenges in the spring with COVID shut downs but adapted services and continued most of them throughout the pandemic. In the months ahead, staff will implement a federal grant to improve and expand the THRIVE education program in local schools. On the horizon are decisions about repairing or renovating the Kutztown building, which suffered flood damage this spring. “We chose the theme Mosaic for our banquet theme,” Life’s Choices executive director Joy Stutzman said, “because we felt it so accurately describes how God works at Life’s Choices and what he does in the lives of our clients. I know I am a broken person, and it’s only because of God’s grace that anything of beauty can come out of my life.” “I have to believe protecting the most vulnerable is near and dear to God’s heart,” Stutzman said. “When you invest in the ministry of Life’s Choices, you partner with the very heart of God.” FROM OUR KEYNOTE SPEAKER When Toni McFadden, a pro-life speaker and founder of Relationships Matter, took the stage, she quickly dove into her own Mosaic story. McFadden has traveled around the nation and the world speaking on the behalf of unborn lives. Most recently, she was named Minority Outreach and Healthy Relationships Director for Students for Life. “Broken. Shattered. Hopeless. Uncertain. Overwhelmed. Lost. Defeated. Wrecked. Destroyed. Crushed,” she began, listing emotions everyone experiences at some point in time. “We live in a fallen and broken world where we cannot escape heartbreak. Some of the broken pieces in my life I had no control over. Some of the broken pieces in my life I created with my own hands.” While a high school senior, McFadden chose, with her boyfriend at her side, to abort their child. That relationship ended and McFadden, the “good kid” of her family, hid the abortion and later medical complications from her parents. She explained how she went on to college, studying and partying and dating, when a friend invited her to a Campus Crusade for Christ event and, to her own surprise, McFadden attended. She accepted Christ, surrendered her life and began to make brave choices. She woke early to read the Bible, stopped dating and found a new group of friends. Eventually, she was brave enough to share her abortion story with a church friend and was met with compassion. McFadden went through post-abortion counseling. She named and grieved for her unborn baby and confessed her role in that baby’s death. She told her parents what happened and forgave her ex-boyfriend for breaking her heart. She began sharing her story publicly to help others in similar situations. “There is amazing freedom when you know your life has purpose,” she said. Surprisingly, McFadden’s high school boyfriend contacted her and asked to meet a decade after her abortion. He shared his own story with her, and they found they had both been transformed by God’s grace. In the end, the couple reconnected and married. They have four children now, but continue to remember and honor the baby they aborted so many years ago. In the end, McFadden said, God used the brokenness in her life to lead her to truth. We want to thank everyone who contributed to this year’s fall banquet. Many volunteers made the night possible, and we are happy to report that, in addition to a good attendance and an inspiring program, we exceeded both our giving goal and our anticipated number of new monthly partners. Thank you for your part in God’s work to handle brokenness, inspire brave choices and yes, make lives beautiful. Donate Here For the link to the full banquet video, please feel free to contact us. #mosaic #pennsylvania #hamburg #freeultrasounds #fundraisingdinner #berkscounty #prenatalclasses #ultrasounds

Life as a new mom can be filled with many challenges and blessings. Trying to keep everything straight while running on little sleep can easily leave you feeling frazzled. Please know that you are not alone — every mom has been where you are right now. After chatting with many women about their past struggles as young mothers, I created a list of a few helpful tips for women in your shoes. Looking back on my years as a young mom, I wish my younger self would have embraced these tips. Although these ideas might sound simplistic, they can really help you in this new stage of life. 1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help Every honest mom will tell you that there have been times when she’s felt overwhelmed and could have used some extra help. Sometimes just having someone run a quick errand, throwing in a load of wash or watching your little one so you can grab a much-needed nap is just what you need to get things under control. Asking for help doesn’t mean you are incompetent or lazy. Family and friends may want to help, but they may not know what you need. Don’t be afraid to ask. 2. Remember that your child is one of a kind Even mothers of multiples will tell you that their children are not exactly alike. Many well-meaning people will give you advice on pacifiers, burping, napping, and a whole list of other things. Be open to advice while keeping in mind that what works for one baby may not always work for yours. Concentrate on doing what is best for your child and not on pleasing others. 3. Schedules come and go While a schedule may sound great to keep your life running smoothly, your baby may not know he is supposed to follow one. Your baby may be on a 3-hour feeding schedule for a few days and then decide that a 2-hour schedule is better, sending you into a panic if you can’t figure out why he is crying. This is all new for both of you. Be flexible and adjust as your baby grows and your schedule will figure itself out. 4. Don’t be drawn in by the social media comparison trap Instagram and Facebook are filled with perfectly staged pictures of perfect families and perfect homes. Parents often post pictures of their best moments and not their average ones. Unfortunately, we fall prey to wanting to portray the perfect life instead of normal day-to-day life, and that often makes new moms feel as though they are falling short. If we posted pics of our normal day you would see formula-stained shirts, messy hair, unfolded laundry and dirty dishes in the sink in just about every new mom’s home. Remember, perfect doesn’t exist in the real world. 5. Take time to enjoy the moment There is a lot to do when a new baby enters the picture. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the small tasks that need be done now that you have another one to take care of. Laundry, housekeeping, shopping, doctor visits, cooking and visitors take up most of our day. Add to that an outside job, other kids and commitments, and it’s easy to miss the beautiful moments that are happing daily with your new little one. Your baby is a special gift that is changing each day. Try to take time to calm your mind and soak up the sweet moments just enjoying this precious gift. You will always have a to-do list, but this new little one will be grown up before you know it. Ask any seasoned parent, and they will tell you how much they wish they could have taken more time to cherish those special moments. CONTACT US TODAY Parenting is tough, and we want you to know you are not alone in your journey. If you’re interested in receiving free, individualized parenting classes, contact us today. We have something for almost every stage and challenge of the parenting years, and we would love to be a resource to you! Katie Bailey Director of Client Services, Kutztown Contact Us Today Kutztown: 610-683-8000 | Hamburg: 484-660-3526 #parentingresources #newmom #coronavirusparenting #parentinghelp #parentingeducation #parentingclasses #unplannedpregnancy #covid19parenting

Grief is universal, and we have all felt its effects in some way or another. Overwhelming sadness, anger, and regret are just a few emotions we may have when experiencing a loss. Grief affects our physical bodies, our emotions and inner spiritual life in profound ways. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the onset of a sudden illness, a miscarriage and the loss of safety after a trauma are just a few examples of situations that may bring on the pain of grief. Grief is a natural response to loss. It can take on a life of its own, and it’s important to find healthy ways to work through the different stages of grief so we aren’t locked into unhealthy emotional patterns. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, because it’s an individual experience. What we do know is that the grieving process takes time, and healing is gradual. Ignoring your pain won’t make it go away faster. Being “strong” won’t lessen the emotional impact on your health. In fact, it may make your health worse if you can’t acknowledge the pain you are feeling. There are typically 5 stages to the grief process according to psychiatrists: Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.” Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?” Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will _____” Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.” Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.” However, not everyone goes through every stage, and that’s OK. You don’t have to go through every stage to heal. These are responses many people have, but our grieving is as individual as our lives. It’s important to take care of yourself as you grieve. Facing what you are feeling, expressing those feelings, maintaining your hobbies and interests and looking after your physical health are key components to healing from grief. It’s also important to distinguish between grief and depression. Please contact your family doctor for more information on the differences between them and seek the right treatment plan for your overall well-being. CONTACT US If you are experiencing grief for any reason, be kind to yourself and seek out a trusted friend who you can lean on for support, a local grief group to share your sorrow, or a counselor to help you sort through the big emotions you may be feeling. At Life’s Choices, we want to support you in any way we can. Contact us if you need someone to listen, and we’ll provide you with resources to help you on your journey. Contact Us Today Kutztown: 610-683-8000 | Hamburg: 484-660-3526 #fearandanxiety #health #mentalhealth #reduceanxiety #griefcounseling #grievingprocess #coronavirus #grief #anxiety #mentalhealthofchildren #ultrasound #fear #pandemicmentalhealth #covid19

When my children were in elementary school, our finances were tight but our need for fun family outings was high. We came up with the concept of “Fun Fridays” with a simple premise: if kids and parents did a good job meeting their responsibilities during the week, we would set aside several hours plus a modest budget to do something fun together most weekends. It was a great way to bond while exploring unique sites and supporting local businesses around our home. Here are some of the things we did: LOCAL ODDITIES We’ve all seen them when we’re out driving around: a giant fork stuck at a “fork” in the road, an over-sized pretzel factory sign and a unique building or structure. But did you know there are websites dedicated to such oddities across the country? Our favorite is Roadside America, an online guide to offbeat attractions. Search by category, enter a location or use the map view. You’ll get pins for quirky options plus details like addresses, photos, reviews and tips. On more then one occasion, we’ve mapped out a course, grabbed water bottles and some snacks and headed out to see what we can find. Our favorites are probably the hand-carved gnomes that pop up in different yards and businesses across our county. Bonus: besides for the cost of gas, this activity is usually free! GEOCACHING Geocaching is a modern twist on a scavenger hunt. You do need either a hand-held GPS device or a phone that can work the same. Using coordinates found on websites like Geocaching.com, you track down a hidden “cache” and can leave a note that you found it. Some caches include small treasures for young visitors — make sure you bring along a few trinkets to add to the stash if you want to take something away. That’s really the only cost to this outing, and we scored tiny novelty erasers, for example, at our local dollar store. Our family has tracked down caches on rural roadsides, urban parking lots and local memorials. Most are coded from easy to hard, and my elementary-age daughter was triumphant in discovering that, though she was the youngest and smallest of us, she was able to find the most caches on her own. It really is fun for all ages! PETTING ZOO My kids love all things animals, so a sunny afternoon was a great opportunity to visit a petting zoo. A simple web search should turn up an option near you. We visited the Oley Turnpike Dairy, which involved a pretty drive through the Berks County countryside. There is a minimal ($1/person) fee to enter the petting zoo, which features lots of farm animals with a few exotics mixed in. For an additional fee, you can purchase feed for the critters. There isn’t a lot of shade, so make sure you dress for the weather, and set aside time and a little extra cash for an ice cream treat before you head home. For hours and updates on the Oley Dairy, visit their Facebook page. FARMER’S MARKETS This idea is one of my personal favorites. We are fortunate to live in an area with lots of local farms and orchards, and fall remains a great time to find locally-sourced goodies. By visiting a farmer’s market, you support a local farmer and also expand your culinary horizons and encourage your children to try something new. We tried different varieties of apples, unique mushrooms and lots of vegetables we weren’t sure how to pronounce or cook. (Bonus: you can have a cooking adventure once you get home.) When we go to the farmer’s market, each person is assigned a budget (even $5 will do) and encouraged to find a food that is new to him or her. My kids unknowingly picked up some great skills during farmer’s market outings: from simple courtesy (please and thank you!) to counting out change to being bold enough to ask a friendly vendor some questions about a new product. And they were always willing to taste the things we brought home. BE CREATIVE! These are just a few ideas you could try this fall. I’d also encourage exploring local trails and parks near your home, where fresh air and wide-open spaces make social distancing easy. You can explore local history at museums near you (don’t be afraid to try out small ones!) or simply visit your public library where you can find books, movies and even free passes to some local attractions. In short, having fun as a family this fall is a safe and budget-friendly way to spend some time together. Even though my kids are now teens, they have fond memories of our outings. They may not remember all the specific things we did, but they do remember their parents taking time to put down devices and work responsibilities to enjoy time as a family. In fact, they still ask for outings like this either one-on-one with a parent or even (gasp!) with a sibling. It makes me happy to see we managed to forge family bonds in such a simple way. Fast forward to the days of COVID-19, and I imagine families are struggling to break out of a “bunker” mentality and find fun but safe ways to do something with each other. I hope these ideas are ones you can use or, at the very least, inspire you to try something new. I encourage you to plan a “Fun Friday” (or whatever day works) with your loved ones. For more tips on how to build family bonds and invest in your children, check out our free parenting classes which include variety of online class topics! Contact us for more information. Free Parenting Classes #oleydairy #pennsylvania #hamburg #geocaching #berkscounty #roadsideamerica #pettingzoo #familyfun #fallactivities #berkscounty5k #parentingclasses

There are some things in life no one can explain unless you’ve experienced it yourself. And there are some decisions only you can make, even though you respect the opinions of those close to you. The intense emotions that a woman experiences through pregnancy and birth are some of those times. Jordan, a previous client of Life’s Choices, would be the first to tell you that becoming pregnant was not part of her plan. But this is what she had to say about her feelings after meeting her newborn son: “…That’s the part no one can explain; that pre-baby/post-baby transition. You have to experience it for yourself to truly understand the change in perspective; the newfound love you receive when they first place your baby on your chest.” This unexplainable “pre-baby/post-baby transition” is the reason no one but you can make a decision about your pregnancy. If becoming pregnant was unplanned and seemingly untimely, those close to you like your parents, friends or the baby’s father may pressure you into having an abortion. But if you are feeling any kind of uncertainty, even if you can’t fully explain it, that is a reason to take your time and become fully informed before terminating your pregnancy. See previous blog for things you should know about abortion. Abortion is a major decision with physical and psychological consequences. Because of this there are laws to protect you from someone pressuring you into making that choice. The following is an excerpt from a publication of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: ABORTION: MAKING A DECISION It is not legal for anyone to make a woman have an abortion against her will. It is not legal for any doctor to perform an abortion on a woman without her informed consent, which means that >> the woman has a private medical discussion with the doctor and is given information about the procedure >> all the questions she may have are answered >> the doctor talks with her about other options before she agrees to have an abortion. If the doctor performs the abortion without first obtaining her informed consent, the woman can sue the doctor in court and she may be awarded money. The father of a child is responsible by law to help support that child, even if the father has said he wanted the woman to have an abortion. The law lets adoptive parents pay costs for care during pregnancy, childbirth and costs for care of the newborn baby. WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE NOT SURE What if you’re feeling pressure to abort, but you’re not sure? How can you defend your choice if you can’t fully explain it yourself? Many women contemplating abortion feel an internal conflict that is hard to express. Understanding that tension can be helpful. In 2011, an organization called The Vitae Foundation funded research by the Right Brained Group to study this internal conflict in abortion vulnerable women. An analysis of the research revealed that there are three primary tensions that these women experience: (1) 1. My Life vs. the Baby’s Life The Conflict: This tension is usually experienced by someone who is focused on accomplishing educational or career goals. She feels like she has to choose between sacrificing the goals she has for her life or sacrificing the life of her baby. The Reality: In reality, many women whose life is interrupted by an unplanned pregnancy go on to accomplish great things. There are many resources available for pregnant students and working, single moms: Assistance for pregnant students Assistance for single, working moms A pregnancy, whether planned or unplanned, may result in taking some time off from pursuing your career goals and dreams for a few months or a few years, but it’s entirely possible to raise a family and experience a successful life. Furthermore, the path to a fulfilling life is rarely a direct route. You will most likely find that life takes many unexpected twists and turns that eventually lead you to a better place than you could ever have imagined. 2. Bad Life vs. Good Life The Conflict: The woman who experiences this conflict is often one who is struggling with financial or emotional difficulties or has several other children and is already feeling overwhelmed. She feels that by having a baby she will be giving up the hope of ever having a good life and is destined for a life of hardship. In addition, she may feel like it’s not fair to her child to be unable to provide what she considers to be the good things in life. The Reality: The truth is that children do not need and often don’t have a desire for many of the things we consider to be essentials. Basic needs like shelter, food and clothing, of course, need to be provided, but they can be very simple for a child to have a happy and carefree life. Love and security are the most important things you can give your child. In fact, many adults who were raised in near poverty situations express that they never realized they were poor, as a child. Again, there are many programs and resources to assist those that are struggling to make ends meet. Conversely, many wealthy families struggle to be happy and content, emphasizing the fact that it is not an abundance of money that indicates true wealth. Resource index for assistance in meeting basic needs. 3. Shame vs. Guilt The Conflict: The woman experiencing this tension feels that it is better to suffer the private guilt of abortion than public shame of an unwed pregnancy. It is often someone who was raised in a religious home with high moral standards or who feels that pregnancy outside of marriage is a shameful thing. She may be concerned her parents will be angry or that her reputation in her church or other community will be ruined. The Reality: Most parents, even if they are initially disappointed and upset, are able to come to a place of acceptance and grace for their pregnant daughter. After all, the baby is their grandchild! The reaction by family members is rarely as bad as you anticipate and over time they rally around and celebrate the coming baby. If your family is unable to accept you and your baby, there are likely deeper issues involved that would come out eventually in another time of crisis. Any rejection you feel from a church family are also indications of an unhealthy situation. True Christianity offers love, grace and forgiveness, and if you feel shamed, we encourage you to find another more welcoming faith community. They do exist! CONTACT US TODAY If you are feeling any of these internal conflicts we would love to talk with you and help you process before choosing abortion. Most importantly, don’t allow someone to pressure you into making a decision you might later regret. Contact us today to set up an appointment. We are here for you. Contact Us References: (1) The Three Tensions, published by CompassCare Pregnancy Services, https://www.ccoptimize.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Three-Tensions-White-Paper-04-18-18.pdf #abortioninformation #pennsylvania #STDtestingbeforeabortion #hamburg #freeultrasounds #confirmationultrasound #abortionpressure #berkscounty #abortionstress #abortion #freeresources #kutztown #ultrasounds #pregnancy

There’s a lot of talk about the stress and uncertainty our children are facing these days. Will school open on time? Will there be in person classes, online or a hybrid option? Will there be school sports? When will interactions feel “normal” again? It’s hard to answer any of these questions, so it’s important to educate ourselves on the best way to support our children’s (and our own) mental health through the pandemic of 2020. Stress affects the brain development of children and also affects the way kids learn. It’s important to develop resilience in children and nurture their core needs of belonging and independence so they can develop a sense of safety in this changing world. PROTECTIVE FACTORS According to STARR Commonwealth Trauma Informed Resilient Schools, there are four main protective factors for resilient children: Supportive adult relationships A sense of self-efficacy and perceived control Adaptive skills and self-regulatory capacities Sources of faith, hope and cultural traditions MEETING CHILDREN’S NEEDS How do we do meet those needs? First and foremost, by listening. Listen to their fears, their successes, and their ideas. With anxiety and depression on the rise in young people, it’s vital that we see through their eyes to understand how they are perceiving the world. Social and emotional learning are key skills our children need for their overall well being. Academics are important, but having the skills to navigate relationships and their emotions is extremely valuable when it comes to managing stress. Tim Elmore of Growing Leaders says it this way: “Building social and emotional skills actually enables students to learn in uncertain times. One of the most important gifts we can give to our students is to help them shape a positive narrative about their lives. One of the best gifts we can give ourselves is to grow our emotional intelligence so we are ready to lead our classrooms and families. One of the strongest ways we can accomplish both of these is through stories and metaphors we can hold in our minds to guide our narratives.“ Another website to check out is Common Sense Media. They have wonderful resources to help you support your kids right now. Look under the Parent Tab for their most recent articles. CONTACT US Here at Life’s Choices, we want to help you feel empowered in raising your children through anything that comes their way. You are the best support your children will ever have, and you can help care for their mental health. So, call us today if you need additional resources — we’re here for you! Contact Us Today Kutztown: 610-683-8000 | Hamburg: 484-660-3526 #fearandanxiety #health #mentalhealth #reduceanxiety #coronavirus #anxiety #mentalhealthofchildren #ultrasound #fear #pandemicmentalhealth #covid19

“Abortion is a major decision with emotional and psychological consequences. If you’re considering this procedure, make sure you understand what it entails, side effects, possible risks, complications and alternatives.” -Mayo Clinic Overview to Medical Abortion If you are considering abortion, you are in a position where all your options are hard ones. You may feel in a panic to end the pregnancy, but it’s important not to rush your decision. Take a deep breath. You have time to make an informed decision. Here are some questions to ask before ending your pregnancy: 1. AM I REALLY PREGNANT? Pregnancy tests are not always accurate. An ultrasound can confirm the pregnancy, determine the gestational age and detect a heartbeat. According to the Mayo Clinic, about 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in natural miscarriage. An ultrasound will confirm that the pregnancy is a viable uterine pregnancy (able to grow and result in a live birth). At Life’s Choices we offer a free ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. Info: Free Ultrasounds 2. WHAT TYPE OF ABORTION PROCEDURE WILL BE USED? There are non-surgical and surgical methods of abortion. Knowing how long you have been pregnant will help determine which method is used. Non-surgical Abortion Method: Non-surgical, or medical abortions, sometimes called “The Abortion Pill” may be performed up to 15 weeks gestation, measured from the first day of your last menstrual period (LMP). A medical abortion involves swallowing a pill or pills and may take several hours or several days for the embryo to be expelled. The process may be started in a doctor’s office and completed at home. You may see the embryo that is expelled. It may involve severe cramping and what seems like a large amount of blood. It’s important that you are prepared for this and know what to look for if complications occur. For more information about a medical abortion, see this description from the Mayo Clinic. Surgical Abortion Method: Surgical methods in the first trimester (first 12 weeks of pregnancy) are different than in the second trimester (fourth, fifth and sixth months of pregnancy). Note that abortions in Pennsylvania are not allowed after 24 weeks LMP. Surgical abortion involves inserting instruments into the uterus to remove the developing baby (fetus). For more detailed description of a surgical abortion see this article from the American Pregnancy Association. 3. DO I UNDERSTAND THE POTENTIAL RISKS? Every medical procedure carries the risk of complications. Non-surgical abortions carry the risk of infection, bleeding, sepsis (blood infection) and aspiration pneumonia (breathing vomit into the lungs). A surgical abortion in the first trimester is considered minor surgery. In a small number of cases the womb may not be completely emptied, an infection could occur or instruments may tear a hole in the womb. Similar complications may occur in a second trimester surgical abortion, however the later you are in the pregnancy, the greater the risk of complications. (Please see the full list of potential abortion risks here) 4. WILL I FEEL PAIN? Ask the abortion provider what pain relief options are available for the abortion procedure that is being used and what the cost will be. Local anesthesia is commonly used, however in some cases sedation or general anesthesia may be an option. 5. WHAT CAN I EXPECT TO FEEL EMOTIONALLY AFTER THE ABORTION? Each person responds differently and may include a combination of positive and negative feelings ranging anywhere from relief to regret. Some women may feel empty or have a sense of guilt. At Life’s Choices we have trained representatives who can give you information to make an informed decision. 6. HAVE I BEEN TESTED? It’s important that you do not have a sexually transmitted infection (STI) before an abortion procedure. Any surgical procedure can be complicated by infection. Having an STI at the time of your abortion could cause the infection to travel through the reproductive organs. If this occurs and is left untreated it could result in Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. Many people do not know they have an STI because often there are no symptoms. At Life’s Choices we offer free testing and treatment for gonorrhea and chlamydia, two of the most common STIs. We discuss more about why it’s important to get a reproductive screening before having an abortion in this blog post. 7. HAVE I CONSIDERED ALTERNATIVES TO ABORTION? Many women who initially considered abortion ultimately found delight in having a child, even though the timing or circumstances were not ideal. The human spirit is amazingly strong and resilient, and a person can adapt well to many things in life that did not go as planned. If parenting is not an option but you do not want to end the pregnancy, adoption is something to consider. Adoption could be the bravest, most unselfish thing you do in your life. Life’s Choices has an extensive amount of resources and referrals for support if you choose to parent your baby or if you choose to pursue adoption. 8. IS SOMEONE PRESSURING ME TO HAVE AN ABORTION? Only you can make this decision since you are the one who will need to live with the consequences of your choice. While you may respect the opinion of your parents or the father of the baby, no one can force you to have an abortion against your will. It is illegal for a doctor to perform an abortion without your informed consent. You can find more information about your legal rights in this online booklet listed under “additional resources” below. It is an excellent resource published by the Pennsylvania Department of Health. WE’RE HERE FOR YOU If you are considering abortion, we would love to talk with you to help you process this decision. Contact us today. A caring, non-judgmental representative will help you navigate the choices ahead of you. Contact Us Additional Resources: “Abortion: Making a Decision,” Pennsylvania Department of Health #abortioninformation #stdtesting #pennsylvania #STDtestingbeforeabortion #hamburg #freeultrasounds #confirmationultrasound #berkscounty #abortion #freeresources #kutztown #ultrasounds #pregnancy

When a woman or couple finds out they are unexpectedly pregnant, adoption is one of the options they may consider. At Life’s Choices, we are not an adoption agency, but we have lots of valid information to offer a woman when she considers if adoption is the right choice for her. Adoption is a complicated, difficult and wonderful choice for many moms. It’s actually more common than you may think: an estimated 120,000 adoptions happen in the U.S. each year, and over half of all Americans know someone who has been adopted, adopted a child or placed their child for adoption. However, many people have an initial negative response to adoption. Here are some common questions we hear from pregnant clients, many of them based on misconceptions. Will choosing adoption make me a bad mother? Isn’t it selfish? No, absolutely not. By choosing adoption and fully engaging in the process (such as taking care of herself during pregnancy and selecting the best possible parents to raise her child), a birth mother is making a sacrificial and loving choice for her child. Studies show a baby raised by adopted parents will enjoy the same positive life outlook as one raised by two biological parents. CHANGING ADOPTION VIEWS FOR THE BETTER Brave Love is an organization that exists for the sole reason of changing negative views of adoption. Their vision is that adoption would become a more supported and common path for women in unplanned pregnancies and their website offers videos, personal accounts and resources for birth parents, adoptees and those wanting to be a positive influence for adoption choice. You can learn more about them here. I’ve known too many foster children who have been mistreated. How can I let that happen? This is a complicated but honest question. It’s important to realize that: For every negative foster care story, there are many, many positive ones; and Foster care and adoption are not the same thing, especially when we look at choosing adoption for a newborn. When a birth mom picks adoption, she is in the driver seat. She should work with a reputable adoption agency and be given a choice of parents that could potentially adopt her child. While the timeline and laws vary by state, a birth mom has lots of options going forward and even the opportunity to stay in contact with her child once the adoption is final. ADOPTION AGENCIES There are lots of agencies out there, and at Life’s Choices we confirm specific factors before recommending an agency to a potential birth mom: 1. No fees involved for the birth mom (and she should not be paid for her baby). 2. Advocates are split between those working with birth moms and those working with adoptive parents. This gives each birth mom someone looking out for her best interests. 3. Birth moms have options when choosing adoptive parents and what type of adoption agreement they want. 4. Advocates work with her to develop adoption and birth plans and to understand and complete paperwork. 5. The birth mom can change her mind without losing appropriate support Won’t my baby feel abandoned? Years ago, most adoptions were closed (with no future contact between biological and adoptive parents) and sometimes kept a secret from the child. Today, more parents choose open adoption. This means that the birth mom can choose what contact she has with the baby and its new family, and this agreement is spelled out in the adoption paperwork. Open adoptions can include regular letters and pictures, personal visits and an agreement on how the child will be told about the adoption and the birth parents. An open adoption means the child will know the birth mom did not abandon him or her but instead chose a loving and positive future for that child. ADOPT VS. ABORTION A pregnant woman may be unable to imagine parenting her baby, and may feel torn between two very hard alternatives: adoption and abortion. Here are some things to consider: Both adoption and abortion mean the birth mother will not keep her child with her and that she can go on with her life, for good or bad. Each option may carry a desire for secrecy and involve personal loss and an impact on future generations. But these two options – adoption and abortion – differ greatly in key ways. When a birth mom chooses adoption, she is giving her child life and hope for the future. Adoption is sacrificial and other-person oriented while abortion focuses on self. And when a mother chooses adoption, she is making a positive choice for future generations. Source: Making Life Disciples, Carenet HERE AS A RESOURCE FOR YOU At Life’s Choices, we have classes, videos and resources to help birth moms decide if adoption is the right choice for them. We also can provide a list of reputable adoption agencies to consider and a non-judging environment to talk things through. Whether you’re considering parenting, adoption or abortion, please contact us today for free educational resources as you make your decision. Contact Us Today Kutztown: 610-683-8000 | Hamburg: 484-660-3526 #adoption #adoptionhelp #parentinghelp #parentingeducation #abortion #parentingclasses #adoptionagencies